No matter how your heart is weeping, if you just keep on believing.

I'm all poet-ed and literatur-ed out. I'm not sure if I can handle all of this if I really want to go in literature and journalism when I go to university, I don't really like talking about dead old white guys who used to rhyme as their past time.
But John Keats, he wrote pretty well, not gonna lie

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal-yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou has not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!

I like John Keats
and also.

Nick and Selena.
(L)

xoxo.

And I can't wait to see you again

7 DAYS TIL BREAKING DAWN, I'M BITING MY FINGERNAILS.




Anyway, last night was cuuuraaazy.
Vanessa Velasco's "party". More like a drunk parade. Good times. Selina passed out for the longest time, I had to act sober, and actually I'm pretty good at it, couldn't help that sometimes I would like just randomly swear in front of Vanessa's parents. I think she got in trouble by the end of the night. Lots of us came home drunk. And basically, yeah. That's about it.
Jamming again tonight, I think.
Jeez.
Summer 2008 is bomb.


xoxo.

Cause an empty room, can be so loud, there's so many tears so drown them out.

SUMMER SCHOOL?!
What was I thinking. Of course I have the answer for that: no, I didn't think it was going to be easier than day school, or easy for any matter. Just not HARD. It's not that it's hard, but it's summer and I could be sleeping my days in. Anyway, I have 1 abscence and 2 lates that means, one more late and I get the boot. Yeah, I'm really pushing here. I don't really like being stressed out, which I am right now, of course, LJ is my main distraction. I just wanted to update. Not that anyone reads any of this. Just me myself and I. Kind of a personal diary, but not really cause its public-ish.


Anyway, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
No, I really don't and I have a quest on that tomorrow.

xoxo.

I probably shouldn't say this, but sometimes I get so scared.

And now we're standing in the rain, and nothing's gonna change until you hear my dear. Oh you, you're vain, your games, your insecure. You love me, you like her. You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy.Your friends--they're jerks when you act like them, just know it hurts. I wanna be with the one I know. ( 8 )

I really wish I had someone to sing that to. But I just don't.
I'm a sucker for HATEFUL, PAINFUL things, which makes me a tad weird.


xoxo.

There's no fear when you feel right at home

3:58 a.m was the last time I saw when I looked at the clock before I went to sleep last night. Stupid english journal. Everyone seems to be dropping the course, but I don't want to be a quitter, that's just not me, might as well finish what I damned started. If I get low in this class though, I'm doing it again, I just really took English so I could do something productive this summer. So today, we wrote a demand essay and I was half asleep and half in trouble because I didn't know what to do, basically, I was all over the place. I was running out of time, I thought I wasn't writing enough, blah blah blah. Whatever, after school I took my G1 test, and yay, I'm licensed. Then I went to get a hair cut. I don't know why I always get a hair cut when I don't really want to. And here I am again, regretting cutting it, thanks Nikka. Anyway, I have work. Gah.

xoxo.

I love it when we're kissing I can feel you smiling.

What a very eventful weekend.

The party could not have gone any better on friday, I really wish people had fun, I'm not in the mood to go in detail about it.

Then Saturday was Dianne's birthday, even when I went to bed at 4:30 in the morning I still woke up at 7:00 to go to the beach. It was okay, I got tanned. And Saturday night, got drunk again. With Candice, Dee, Vanessa and the Bancroft boys this time. I just found out today that they stole my Mojitos >=T. I'm scared now that they know where I live, they'll be at my house every weekend trying to find drinks.

Summer school is such a drag, it just makes me hate Shakespeare. And I usually like Shakespeare. Maybe because I wasnt being spoonfed of 5 hours of thou, thee, doth and words like bombast, abhor, albeit, tush,dire and quotes like "I hath pleased the devil drunkenness to give place to the devil wrath." and yes, I have the book in front of me, I didn't memorize Othello. And I'm REALLY scared to do an oral presentation, I wasn't built for oral presentations, never was.


I'm loafting for this stupid assignment due tomorrow, so I shall begin.

xoxo.

You're so wrong for so many reasons, yet I can't deny you.

"In so many millennia, the humans never did figure love out. How much is physical, how much in the mind? How much accident and how much fate? Why did perfect matches crumble and impossible couples thrive? I don't know any better than they did. Love is simply where it is."
-Kathy, The Host ~Stephenie Meyer.

New Jersey was eventful this year. Yearly, we go to New Jersey and New York City to look at the same exact things we've looked at every single year since 2004. To go talk to the same people we always talk to. To make nice and pretty faces to the aunts and uncles and the long lost great aunts and great uncles. But this year, it was actually productive. Shopping was amazing because I had money. Times square looked brighter than ever. The Statue of Liberty looks the same, but now with more bird poop, I noticed. And for some reason, Jersey shore lost its charm. Must be the heat getting into my head.

Stress for the party is still eating me alive. Summer school on Thursday too. Woo. No actually, I'm excited. I'm ready to whip ass in English.

Anyway, I started The Host because I finally finished Water for Elephants. I'm determined to finish that BOOKS TO READ list I stare at everyday (yeah, it's plastered beside my bed, I sleep and wake at the sight of it). Well I'm done 13 out of 72. ALMOST THERE ;)

And I'm really confused these days. I still want my head to blow up.


xoxo.