Well you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch

Le Sigh.
I can't believe that since the end of school (Last Thursday, April 21st) I have not once fully actually slept in past 9:00. It really boggled my mind how my body was still holding up through all the stress and sleeplessness I've been going through. But I think it's finally starting to take its toll. I've been so tired lately and it doesn't help that my work hours are HECTIC. And I mean, hectic. I basically have a full time job right now, which I am in no way complaining about because this workplace is absolutely chill! I mean okay no, not right now, not the craziness that is going on because the store is still hyped up because it just opened. I mean the fact that the managers are so humble and very welcoming, it definitely sets a warm environment in the store and I don't feel like I'm being told what to do because even in reality that I am, they are there on the associates level on their feet doing more things than they have asked us to do. It's a huge jump from retail that I knew before. I don't feel pressured, belittled or intimidated.

I can say I'm satisfied right now with how life is going even though problems spark up every now and then. Some things that used to irritate me, I have just decided to not give a care about and wow, what a difference that makes! There has been a lot of time lent on soul searching if I may say, these few days that I have had almost no sleep. Some circumstances have opened my eyes to the privileges I have been forgetting and the people that truly matter. Even without much energy to spare, if you use it on things or people that are really your priority, life is so much easier. It's not hard to be happy if I just take things as they are. If I don't complain, if I don't demand, if I give with gratitude no matter for the things in return. I don't know why I never acted upon it. I mean these are common knowledge and morals that I've been taught over and over and over and for once, instead of letting it out on the other ear, retaining it has been working so much better for me.

I have to say though, that being such a patient person is not as easy, being nice isn't either. It opens up your eyes to how cruel others can be and most definitely revealed how cruel I have been myself. It's never too late for a new beginning and you shouldn't wait to start anew. I realized that okay, I have been an "honest" person but not in the nicest way all the time, there's always a better way to do things. Honestly, I just don't want to be forgotten one day because I was only nice to people I knew or I was bossy and I was bitchy to people around me. I have been that and I chose to be that way for a really long time. It's not the right thing anymore though. It's not okay to just get my way all the time while hurting others. Things like these are what have been running through my mind lately. This is just actually a jist of it. I have spent time at night thinking about what needs to change.

Never underestimate your faith,
God is so good.
xoxo

And if there's a thing that you need...

Passion still does it.
xoxo.

I have been so out of the loop!

I've been too busy to even update blogspot. I've been running around for what seems like everywhere using the 0 energy that I have. Even after long exam weeks I still haven't caught a breather with it being holy week and all having to go to church late at night and early in the morning and such, which I don't mind. Although it's really starting to take a toll on my energy level and creating bags under my eyes which are becoming harder and harder to conceal by the minute. Even now 3 am I'm still wide awake... My sleeping pattern has been thoroughly messed up.

I just want to do quick point form updates:
- Finished first year of university! Been a long road g'damn!
- No one will ever understand why it had to be you AJ, rest in paradise, we all miss you. See you soon.
- Easter easter! Means I'm back on Facebook and back on tumblr :) and I can eat chocolate yay!
- Giving up BBM was NOT a good idea because I apparently did not have unlimited text when I already pay $65 for my phone, how ridic, imagine my frustration when I found out I got charged $317 for text! WHAT
- I've been thinking of seriously moving back to the Philippines one day. One day. I will have an explanation for that in a completely different and elaborate blog.
- I miss my Lola.
- I just want to rest.
- I can't even party.
- Winter came back.
- No woman, no cry!

xoxo

The Scholars

During my Literature exam yesterday, I had to close read one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read in my life. I actually smiled and thought to myself "hm isn't that so sweet" I don't know what it is... I just really admire the simplicity and the meaning of this poem plus, I always enjoyed Yeats' works.

"The Scholars" by W.B. Yeats

Bald heads, forgetful of their sins,
Old, learned, respectable bald heads
Edit and annotate the lines
That young men, tossing on their beds,
Rhymed out in love's despair
To flatter beauty's ignorant ear.

All shuffle there, all cough in ink;
All wear the carpet with their shoes;
All think what other people think;
All know the man their neighbour knows.
Lord, what would they say
Did their Catullus walk that way?

-- William Butler Yeats

xoxo

We danced and fell in love on a slow jam

Play another slow jam, this time make it sweet.

xoxo

Out with the old in with the new

Pause.
I am exhausted. I've been in the library studying my ass off since last Sunday. This week I literally spent more time in the library actually studying than at home! Wow. The only break I got was Ke$ha's concert (WILD WILD WILD CRAZY WILD). The next day I was back in the library at 10 am in the morning and stayed there til 5 and went to work 6-10. Came back the next morning again at 9 am, wrote my exam at 4, finished at 7... Had to drive from UTM all the way to pick up my brother and got home at 8:00. From 8:00 I started stripping down my room out of everything that is not very "showy" material as my parents would say.I was totally drained though from the long week I've had so I crashed pretty early at 12:30.
I woke up this morning to resume my cleaning but I'm trying to multitask my reading with it so I have Sparknotes open as I clean out my closet.

I'm kind of sad to be leaving my room behind... putting it back to how it used to be and giving it to someone else soon. They will never know the sentimental value of this room. They will never be aware of the moments that were lived in here. I spent most of my teenage years in this room. I grew up in here. I cried, screamed, yelled, punched walls (not hard enough to make a hole lol I'm so weak) in this room. I also learned the guitar, crammed for tests, sang terribly, laughed and cuddled in this room. It'll be someone else living in here and they will never know the value of my room. I will miss this place. I hate to be packing all of it in boxes right now.

It's such a nice day out though, I think I'm gonna go out for a walk to rub off my gloominess.

xoxo.

I'm dreading this.

CIN205Y5 (Cinema studies) exam tomorrow.
Damn, I shoulda gone to all those movie screenings. Fuck it.

xoxo.

Ke$ha

Get $LEAZY was amaziiiiing it's one of those things that can't ever be described well enough to amount to the actual moments of the event. You had to be there. I don't care if people don't like how ke$ha looks trashy or how she doesn't look like she showers or she's not pretty because she's FUCKING AMAZING. Brilliant. Such a rebel I friggen LOOOOOOVE it. Although I did end up yacking from mixing drinks....... NO BIG DEAL lololololol. Kesha woulda loved me she would have held my hair for me as I yacked. Seriously though overall the night was ridiculously fun. I just forgot about all the craziness and stress of my real life. There was glitter on the floor, on my body, on my face--EVERYWHERE.
I don't know, I can't even write fast enough to keep up pace with the things I'm thinking of...

I LOVE KE$HA. I wish I was her.
She's such a G.

xoxo.

He Won't Go

Such an accurate and lovely song.
Adele did it again.

xoxo.

CCIT

So I thought I'd share this on here lol, this is just an iMovie exercise that we had to do for CCT.



Just had good bonding times making this!
And my noob website that I just recently finished:

http://www.individual.utoronto.ca/nikkaaquino/NikkaAquino/Index.html

Dreamweaver was probably the most excruciatingly painful application that I've ever had to use next to Flash. Thank God for having my own Mac!!! All that asianavenue codes paid off ahaha.

xoxo

Quick March overview

- Hot and Cold
- Break up to make up
- Final days of school
- Living in the library
- YouTube and Blogger
- No BBM and Tumblr
- Trust is earned
- Procrastination at its best
- Growing up
- Essays
- Essays
- Essays
- Skype dates!
- Lizzie Crew
- Pink Friday
- Rolling Deep
- Samson's come back (my guitar)
- RIP Freddy
- SNOW WTF YOU DOIN HERE?!
- Pink Friday Wagon
- Femme Fatale
- Stress
- Relax
- Make up shopping to the max
- Too much $$$$ spending
- Marshalls

xoxo.