Le Sigh.
I can't believe that since the end of school (Last Thursday, April 21st) I have not once fully actually slept in past 9:00. It really boggled my mind how my body was still holding up through all the stress and sleeplessness I've been going through. But I think it's finally starting to take its toll. I've been so tired lately and it doesn't help that my work hours are HECTIC. And I mean, hectic. I basically have a full time job right now, which I am in no way complaining about because this workplace is absolutely chill! I mean okay no, not right now, not the craziness that is going on because the store is still hyped up because it just opened. I mean the fact that the managers are so humble and very welcoming, it definitely sets a warm environment in the store and I don't feel like I'm being told what to do because even in reality that I am, they are there on the associates level on their feet doing more things than they have asked us to do. It's a huge jump from retail that I knew before. I don't feel pressured, belittled or intimidated.
I can say I'm satisfied right now with how life is going even though problems spark up every now and then. Some things that used to irritate me, I have just decided to not give a care about and wow, what a difference that makes! There has been a lot of time lent on soul searching if I may say, these few days that I have had almost no sleep. Some circumstances have opened my eyes to the privileges I have been forgetting and the people that truly matter. Even without much energy to spare, if you use it on things or people that are really your priority, life is so much easier. It's not hard to be happy if I just take things as they are. If I don't complain, if I don't demand, if I give with gratitude no matter for the things in return. I don't know why I never acted upon it. I mean these are common knowledge and morals that I've been taught over and over and over and for once, instead of letting it out on the other ear, retaining it has been working so much better for me.
I have to say though, that being such a patient person is not as easy, being nice isn't either. It opens up your eyes to how cruel others can be and most definitely revealed how cruel I have been myself. It's never too late for a new beginning and you shouldn't wait to start anew. I realized that okay, I have been an "honest" person but not in the nicest way all the time, there's always a better way to do things. Honestly, I just don't want to be forgotten one day because I was only nice to people I knew or I was bossy and I was bitchy to people around me. I have been that and I chose to be that way for a really long time. It's not the right thing anymore though. It's not okay to just get my way all the time while hurting others. Things like these are what have been running through my mind lately. This is just actually a jist of it. I have spent time at night thinking about what needs to change.
Never underestimate your faith,
God is so good.
xoxo
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